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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 06:18
最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 06:18
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It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
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I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
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If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
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I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
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It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
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Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
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Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
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Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
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Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
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Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
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If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
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Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
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Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
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I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
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Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
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A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
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The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
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It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
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I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
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I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
最終更新日 : 2012/01/15/(Sun) 08:13
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